2021-Q2 and Draft-03B (05.04.2021)

Welcome to 2021-Q2. I will be attempting to transition to Draft-03B, a lot of 03A builds are failures/bloated. Still failing to trigger the inciting incident. 7 pages is too late; the villain reveal on page 10 is too late as well. Also, too much lore dumping/idle chatter between protag-01 and deuter-02–need less talk more action.

The problem is that I am walking up to, and then running to the inciting incident–I should just be immediately “spawned” into the inciting incident.

DevNotes:

D03A-R01-v01:
- reviewed first 14 pages
- plot escalation is still too slow
- plot device at pg. 7
- plot revelation at pg. 9
- villain entrance at pg. 11
- first face-off at pg. 14
- build failure, due to slow escalation

D03A-R01-v02
- reviewed first 7-8 pages
- plot escalation is still too slow;
  - too much loredumps and infodumps
  - character backstory & hints/implications
  - leadup to I.I. (Inciting Incident)
  - too much idle chatter between protag-01 and deuter-02
  - implications of “another day at the office… or is it?”; basically telling the reading this will not be a normal day very soon
    - solution/advisement: don’t wait, or lead up to the incident
    - –begin immediately during the inciting incident
- too much hints/statements/descriptions about the MC’s abilities/origin, rather than showing it and letting the story play out
- too much time spend on giving ‘but first, did you know?’s’
- too 8 pages to show magic in the universe/setting and commence the plot trigger/inciting incident
Therefore, don’t wait at the start line for the gun to go off–start the ‘broadcast’ with the gun having already gone off and the characters running a few hundred metres